It's Broken, Here's a Pill to Fix It

Feeling a little dry down there? Well there's good news for you menopausal women with malfunctioning vagninas. Drug giant Bayer is teaming up with EndoCeutics to develop a female sex drug for that exact problem. Dry pussies no more! The drug aims to help lube up those desert areas by naturally stimulating the production of the ladies' juice. Don't let vaginal atrophy get you down. There is help on the way. (link)

Bottle or Can?

Forget the "taste great, less filling" debate. We've moved on to something more pressing. In a bottle or in a can. Well most beer aficionados will tell you in a bottle, hands down. If you also happen to be a rich bastard you will be interested in the beer vault. Store you high end beer in brightly lit acrylic canisters and distribute to your snooty friends. So ... when are you inviting me over for a beer?

It's a Trap!

Is it the Crying Game all over again? How does this happen? Gamers from all over tricked in adoring a guy who looks like an attractive girl. Also, why would you even want to pretend you were something you're not? I'm sure many Asian males are clawing their eyes out right now. Who knows if magazines will continue to feature Kayo Satou.
(link)

Morning drive, not so bad ...

After reading this story about a China traffic jam, suddenly my morning drive doesn't seem so bad. 1 hour, 2 hours, so what. Nothing compared to 10 days of hell sitting on the freeway eating instant noodles day after day. It simply boggles the mind. How could this happen? Given the poor infrastructure in China, sure, but come on! 10 days! Call in the army, do something about this! Who do I have to bribe to get outta this situation?

Always remember: no matter how shitty things get, there's always something worse.

wasted rant aug.12, 2010

Let me just say ... NSFW

Meh, here's some boobs and pussy, enjoy!

Ode to the empty roll

Surprised? Perhaps I caught you off guard?

You've been left hanging, naked, alone, in the dark. Not a strip of tissue to cover your modesty. How did this happen?

To the right is a readily available replacement, fresh and full of life. Prepared to be deployed to the nether regions to perform their dutiful task, albeit disgusting and soiled in nature.

Oh how we quickly forget. Good times you and me. In my most darkest of times I looked to you for comfort and cleanliness.

That extra hot spicy bean burrito got the better of me but you pulled me through. When I had a booger, you were there. When there was a tear, you were there.

It's hard to believe we've gone through your 3 ply softness in such a short time.

Alas, your time has come. You were the celebrated new king when you arrived and now you are nothing more than an empty roll. Used and discarded.

To your new home you go.

The waste bin welcomes you with open arms.

More things I hate

People playing their music annoying loud at which point my ears bleed.

People playing their music quiet enough that I am unable to discern the name of the song.

People that sing out of tune or off key.

People that hum to themselves and think that no one can hear them.

People who drive at the same speed as the bus/truck/large vehicle in the next lane that I am trying to pass.

People that walk by my desk and fart.

People who email/im me about something then come immediately over to my desk expecting me to drop everything just to read what they wrote.

People who brake when going through an intersection when it's a green light.

... more at 11